2026 Gilda's Family Walk & 5k Run

I knew the day would come. I actually thought about it often. But that still didn't prepare me for all the emotions I would feel.

It's been almost eight years since Jim passed away from pancreatic cancer. You would think it would take more than the words of a five-year-old and a four-year-old to bring this tough widow to tears, but you would be wrong.

The one thing that continues to gnaw at me is the fact that my husband never had the pleasure and honor of being a grandfather. I play it out in my head: he would be called Papa, just like my father. Jonah and Jim would be in the kitchen together making all sorts of "trouble." Ryder and Jim would watch movies and share their love of popcorn. No question Brooklyn would have had Papa Jim wrapped around her little finger, beaming with pride at her recitals. Sloan would probably be applying pretend makeup to his face or having him wind the cuckoo clock. And Eden, well, her smile would have melted his heart. How different life would be for all of us.

Unfortunately, cancer had other plans for our family.

I always knew our grandchildren would eventually have questions, especially since our children have worked overtime telling stories so that Jim would never be forgotten. Still, nothing can truly prepare you for the day your four-year-old granddaughter announces that whenever she finds a coin, it's from her Papa Jim: "He must be around, or thinking of us."

Nothing prepares you. That's exactly how I felt when Ryder pointed to an old photo in the bakery. "Who is in this picture baking with you, Memaw?" It was a photo of me and Jim from culinary school. "Ryder, that is your Papa Jim." To which he replied, "Yes it is. Did he bake with you often?" I could feel the tears at the corners of my eyes, and all I could manage was, "Sometimes, Ryder."

It was around the same time Brooklyn made her revelation about the coins. Is it their age? Maybe. Whatever it is, it's this strange mixture: happy that they say his name, and heartbroken that they will never get to experience the kind, gentle, funny man we all loved.

While the grief changes each year and becomes more manageable, a portion of my progress is owed to Gilda's Club. I have been a member of their Spouses and Partners Bereavement Group for seven years. The friendships, understanding, and support I've received are immeasurable.

That is why every year our family participates in the Gilda's Family Walk and 5K Run. On Saturday, September 19th, we will gather at Royal Oak High School to support the organization that has supported us. Each year, our team gets a little bigger and a little stronger.

Please consider joining our team or making a donation.

I never wanted to need Gilda's Club. Cancer had other plans.💜