Chocolate Chronicles
Carmen Aliber
From Survivor to Lawmaker: The Woman Who Changed Massachusetts Law
Carmen Aliber is a Massachusetts‑based advocate, writer, and speaker who has used her lived experience as a survivor and events like the Hot Chocolate Run to shape how lawmakers, employers, and the general public understand and respond to domestic abuse. She became involved in advocacy at the state and national level after recognizing that her own experience reflected systemic gaps in protections for survivors, pushing her to help lead legislative change and public education on coercive control.
Carmen's first Hot Chocolate Run was in 2024, the year Massachusetts’ Legislature unanimously passed coercive control legislation, and she remembers being "in awe of the work that Safe Passage does, in awe of the support that survivors have because of the organization" and struck by "the sheer volume of people who showed up to support Safe Passage. I was overwhelmed to see how many people show up to support this run because domestic abuse has touched them." She is determined to continue supporting organizations that help survivors, "because when we speak, it spares others from living in silence and suffering in silence."
As a survivor herself, Carmen has learned "the power of connection" from her own journey- a journey that has taken her all the way to the statehouse. Carmen successfully advocated for legislation to expand the legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control, which she considers foundational to all forms of domestic abuse.She helped lead the Massachusetts Legislature’s unanimous passage of coercive‑control legislation in June 2024, a landmark bill that expanded the state’s legal definition of domestic abuse to include coercive control. The law gives survivors meaningful protections by recognizing patterns of psychological domination and non‑physical harm as domestic abuse, allowing them to seek safety, protective orders, and intervention earlier. She believes that "by learning the power of connection, real healing and awareness take place," and she recognizes that Safe Passage "gives people the first steps on their pathway to a brighter future." She reflects, "When we work together the more people who walk on that path the clearer and easier it becomes for those behind us. It's not just important for us to be looking ahead. We also have to be looking behind us and holding hands and putting our arms around the shoulders of those who are behind us."
Carmen wants survivors to understand that "they are not alone. Nobody needs to walk alone in the darkness" of domestic violence and relationship abuse. She insists on the importance of recognizing that "you cannot look at somebody and see if they are being abused or not. Domestic abuse impacts all demographics." She asks for openness to everyone, wherever they are in their survival journey, explaining, "It is only in sharing our stories and breaking our silence that we help break the shame and stigma of domestic abuse, because that is where abusers maintain their power and control of us — in the shame, silence, and stigma of abuse."
Carmen reflects on what it means to look out at the crowd at the Hot Chocolate Run each year. "There are people who show up to run in honor of survivors. There are people who show up to carry their signs or to dress up in their silly costumes to have fun, because that too is part of the healing process of violence. The run is not just a fundraiser. It is a validation that life does go on, that support is there for survivors, and that the work continues to be done every single day." For Carmen, that is what keeps her coming back: "there's joy in the Hot Chocolate Run, without a doubt. There's joy, but the deep, meaningful purpose that it provides is incredible. And that is a gift."
Run for the ones still in the shadows.
Carmen turned her own survival into a movement, changing state law so that survivors of coercive control can find safety sooner. She knows that the Hot Chocolate Run is more than a fundraiser; it is validation, joy, and a reminder that no one walks alone. As she says, we must look ahead but also put our arms around those behind us.
That is where you come in. Register for the Hot Chocolate Run, start a fundraising team, and ask your community to give. Every dollar supports Safe Passage in offering survivors their first steps toward a brighter future. Your participation breaks the silence, chips away at shame, and tells every survivor: you are seen, you are not alone, and life goes on.
Carmen’s work changed the law. Your work can change a life.
Sign up today. Fundraise with purpose. Bring someone with you.